Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dear Les Claypool

Mr. Claypool,

My name is Mike and I am a hack fly fisherman. In just 2 days you'll be jamming in my home town, a town that I still live in! You'll be minutes from my home...and minutes from some awesome fly fishing water. Water that flows into the wonderful Lake Ontario. About this time every year huge salmon, steelhead, brown trout, and other similar fish leave the relative safety of the deep lake and travel up into the shallow waters of the rivers. The females get in early and lay their beds because "She knew what she wanted. She was lookin'
for that stud bull........SAAAY BAAABY!!!"

....Sorry, you know all about what fish do and why. Forget all that biology lesson I was getting into above.

The point I'm trying to make Mr. Claypool is that you'll be MINUTES from this fishing! So, here's what I'm offering.

I don't have the $38+ bones to give up to come see your show (long story, but trying to not end up living in a box), so I'm going to give you a free guided trip to some of the best water Rochester has to offer! That's right, I'm not even going to charge you $38 to hang out with the coolest dad (in my house) in Rochester! That's a deal you can't pass up!

What? Want more? Well, call now and you wont receive one awesome knife but TWO awesome knives! Wait, informercial flashback. What I meant to say was, I'll even throw in a free fly tying session! That's right Les (can I call you Les?), if you can't swing a few hours to go fishing, or if you are allergic to water, you can come over to my fly tying house of horrors (I have 5 kids, that qualifies for all kinds of horror) for some fly tying! You'll be able to go back home and tell all your trout bum buddies "I tied flies with Mike...the guy who started Guys, Flies & Pies!!!" And then after they stare at you like they have no idea what you are talking about, and no idea why they should care, you can say "...well, he's not that famous anyway, so, um, never mind!"

So, if this is something you'd be interested in, please send me an email at guysfliesandpies [at] and we can set up a time! Hey, I'll even come to the show and tie with you backstage...but I still can't swing the $38, so maybe that's not going to happen.

I hope to hear from you soon! Thanks and have a wonderful trip and good luck at the show!!!



And for you that are NOT Mr. Claypool, and have no real good reason to be reading this very personal and private letter, enjoy the following video...THEN PASS ON MY LETTER TO ANYONE THAT CAN GET ME IN CONTACT WITH LES!!!


VERN-O said...

I'll drive you guys from fishing spot to fishing spot and tie your knots!!!

GFP said...

Vern-O - what a great offer! Can you secretly supply me with knowledge and flies, since I said I'd "guide" him and if truth be told, I don't think I could guide a fish to water, let alone get him to drink. (I think I got that saying wrong.

Les (Because I know you are reading this) - We now have Vern-O as a chauffeur (wow, did I just spell that right without having to correct it? go me!) and Will as a water boy! Just think, this could be the coolest fishing trip you'll EVER go on. Or, be the first fly tying session you've had a chauffeur and water boy for! So, let's do this!!!